Saying ‘Thank you’
There is an old Chinese poem said ‘You gave me a pawpaw and I will return you fine jade’. That means one should redound upon people while or after been helped by them. And this became a traditional standard to taught people to remember others’ kind heart and warm favors. These two lines of poet agrees the sprit of ‘courtesy demands reciprocity’, which is a basic tenet of Confucianism, and obeyed by Chinese thousands years, past and now.
In the golden day of Renaissance, William Shakespeare, the great playwright of Britain, wrote in his sonnet: ’Should I compare thee to a summer’s day, Thou art more lovely and more temperate …… So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.’ And I thought this poet showed us what a romantic thing it is when westerners express their thankful feeling to people who do them favors, indirectly and poetically.
Here I want emphasize the difference between the manners Chinese and Westerners say ‘Thank you’ to people, they differs so extremely. We Chinese use solid gift, of which the value may much higher than the favor or things they gave to us, that is we always say: ‘The kindness of a drop of thirsty water should be redounded upon by a stream of thankful honey’. So in our life, we buy persons or friends who help us meals and send the gift to express how thankful we are to them, although they might just do us a very small favor. However, westerners do not buy meals to express their thanks, they say ‘Thank you’ from the bottom of their heart, or use a thankful hug instead. They might not send to people their ‘Thank you’ present, but mostly they will keep people’s kindness and favors in heart, or I should say they will cave their thankful person in their memory. If there were a chance, they would had pay your favors back just by helping you. That should be the way westerners express their thanks, simply but with dignity.
Why the traditions of express ‘thank you’ so different between Chinese and westerners? I am trying to explain the reasons in those following 3 points:
1. Wealth.
In the old days, all human beings are poor oppositely, poorer than now. Only few people own private wealth. Most of people just live for living during the past thousands years. However, if we take a comparison between old China and old Europe, we can see a truth, that is Chinese people are holding more wealth than the Europeans in history. While old European people wore flax, our ancestors had worn silk already. The basement of wealthy overplus, guaranteed Chinese ancestors had the ability to offer those people who helped them solid thing like food, tools, decoration as well as money. And also because of Chinese people are honest and frank, we considered more for others and wanted to give our best to them, and we tried our best to redound on our thankful objects, so we provided tangibly matter. However, westerners were poor than our ancestors, they have nothing to eat and nothing to wear, and also they had nothing to return their kind men. So than they adopted an euphemistical way to express thankful feeling, just like a poem, or like a song, etc., that is the reason why we can read a lot of chorale and hymnology of friendship and kindness when we study western culture and history. They are poor but smart, their method are unpractical but making people comfortable.
2. Education.
Wealth differs mind, and also differs labor method. The rich person had been freed from physical works, they paid more attention to brainwork. That is the beginning of human civilization. But the diversity between orient and west cultures is so great. In old China, the most popular thinking is Confucianism, and Confucians taught people ‘be kind and be righteous’ and ‘remember other’s kindness and try to return’. So that people kept ‘be kind’ first and always help other persons. But for the ones had been helped, they keep ‘remember others’ kindness and try to return’ in mind first, and wanted to redound upon. Confucianism thinks more for people around Confucians themselves. However, westerners think more for themselves only. The educational basic is the culture system differs with Chinese. Western civilization has two basic education aspects: gentleman (or lady) education and program education. The later taught people how to use their language, and the former taught people how to be polite. Polite is a self-culture and concern on people himself, about his manner and his behavior. And they focus on themselves than any other people. So that they can help people but they never think people feedback. For the ones who accepted the help, they pay more attention to how to keep the good results via others’ help but less to those people who helped them. Sometimes, they may redound on you, but mostly they just say ’Thank you.’
3. Self-identity.
This topic is not a philosophical point, but involved in the awareness of separate individuals. A human being is an individual. The awareness means know yourself and know any others, respect yourself and respect any others. We Chinese think people as a whole unit, and we always concern about not only ourselves but also about our relatives and friends and even the whole nation. We do hope others do the same as we do. So when we accept their help, we think: he should do so. However, this opinion is unbelievable in westerners’ eyes. Why? Because in western countries, even son or daughter brings a cup of tea to his or her father, father should say: Thank you. They think their children are not themselves, children separated from themselves, children have thoughts and manners only belong to children but not to parents, children have no duty to had to bring this cup of tea to their parent, so their parent should say thanks to kids. That is the way they, the westerners think about it. We Chinese do not.
Totally speaking, both the way Chinese and westerners to say ‘Thank you’ have good and bad sides. In China, some people would like to consider what shall I get from or pay back to the help, this may bring along evil and crime. In west, people may feel disappointed when one just say ‘thank you’ though he had done a lot to help the one, or people will forget the men who helped them.
替别人写的作文，但既然是自己的劳动成果，那就帖出来。哎，语法还是不行啊。
